Dear Grandpa

My grandpa passed away a month and a half before I was born. I've never met the man myself (DUH!) but I cant help but miss him. As weird as it may sound, I have a feeling he would have been such an amazing dude to be around especially to shut my parents up when they act off from time to time.

Not to brag (but eh! what the heck!?), but grandpa was a part of the II World War and he supposedly knew 16 languages, including Mandarin Chinese and Romanian. I didnt even know Romanian was a language till I was told. The dude was so awesome, he's smacked a kid Veerappan right on the face when he served as a Forest Officer of the sandalwood forests down in Karnataka. I even have a picture of the apprehension of the perpetrators to prove it! I honestly miss him. Yesterday marked 19 years since he died. Ok, I know this is getting a tad too much emotional but the man deserved it.

When my dad came to talk to him when he wanted to marry mum, apparently grand-dad said "Hope you know what you're getting into! You're marrying an absolute child". That golden statement stands true to this very damn day! Dad still doesnt know what he's gotten himself into. I'm typing this away into the din of banshee like yelling and screaming by mother dearest. I just wish if grandpa was here, he'd come up with something really awesome to shut her up for a while (much appreciated gramps!).

The cat and her kittens are taking too much of my time. I cant STOP cuddling them. The next thing I know, I have fur all over my shirt because these felines wont stop being pampered. Grandpa loved animals. He has even saved tonnes of them from traps (including bears, hippos and snakes).

So now you know, where I get most of my weirdness from.
Thanks Grandpa, for giving me some of your awesome genes!
Love you!! Even though I have really met you. Wish I did though
^_^

Transition

Its odd how less than 24 hours of travelling can make me snuggle under a thick blanket at 2:30pm in the afternoon. Bangalore is pretty nice that way. Grannys place is intensely cold and I cant help but do two things most prominently - Eat and Sleep. I know pretty damn well that if I go on this way for the next few weeks, all the pounds I shed are going to find their way back to me. The rain isnt making things better anyway.

Thats a picture from the papers this morning. Apart from making me sleepy, its also making the construction upstairs a hassle. As it is, to get inside the house it feels like I'm walking into some den O_O.

Oh well, I guess I cant really complain. I was told I'm "whiny" by a certain somebody which is stupid because we're all the incredibly-constantly-whiny lot. Not really different from each other.

The biggest problem about moving to where granny lives - Relatives. Honestly, I havent really been the kind of a person who has enjoyed being in the presence of tonnes of relatives. Probably because not one single relative has ever been nice to me or to the rest of my predecessors. Besides, its always a hassle with these people. Honestly, nagging, complaining, some old family-hate shit happening all the time. Me and my brother fight all the time, not like I want to kill him or anything @_@

Apart from all the mangoes I'm ingesting and the massive amounts of praying, I'm feeling pretty stoned =/.

Freedom

When I inked the last fullstop in my answer sheet today, I was filled with the most awesome sensation ever. Shockingly so, it wasnt the fact that today was the last final of my second semester in my CC (Crappy College). I overflowed with the sudden sense of confrontation, of getting away from the evil tormenting me for two straight semesters in a row. It wasnt something horrifying (although the fact that my internet usage would be closely monitored gave me the heebie-jeebies), however, I feel this pain of intermittent nausea in the pit of my stomach.

I slept a meager five hours last night, occasionally waking up to the bloody dog tied downstairs howling in pain, and the horrific sweating and not to mention the sudden outbursts of "oh-god!-I-havent-studied-but-I-overslept!!!!" feeling which followed gentle self assurances that my cute wake up call isnt here yet. My life felt like it'd had been designed by God in such a hurry, he left out several important things to include. Anyway, all that aside, when I walked out of that exam hall, I prayed that it would be the last time I'd have to walk the corridors of the college, I prayed that these would be the last ever moments where I'd have to call myself a student of the college.

For a pretty rational person, I'm immensely god fearing, which again, people think I'm faking because they THINK I ought to be atheistic (whatever. >.<). Its like that saying you know, "Dirty dishwater, better than none" except in this case, a set of 32 teeth better than none aint it?. With my father nearly two hours away from coming to get me, I cannot feel but a sense of deep distraught over how uncertain my future is. I dont see myself anywhere. Probably because I'm out of hope, even if I'm constantly praying, predominantly because the God of the cosmos is never short of miracles. I'm personally scared. Which again, is an irony considering how I dont like to admit I'm afraid of things.

I just want to get out of here and I'm sure the ruler of all cosmos has a plan up that sleeve of His. If only I werent so scared out of my wits. Oh well, for now, I'm getting out, and I only pray that my will and His will is the same and I get to be where I want to be. It isnt something that I want done because I want to, I just dont want to disappoint....yet again..

Chugging along!

Yes, a deletion was on.
Yes, I left...
But the most amazing thing is, I've come back.

Sitting in probably the planets most hottest place, which is, without doubt infested with diseases of every kind, bugs and bitches, I cant really say life has been good.
I'm done listening to shit about how I should be the one doing all the adjusting.
I'm also done telling people that they suck. Apparently, I thought people could be sane. Like that ever happens.

Truth is, everybody has problems right?, maybe people should stop advising others with their problems when we are down. Yeah, when I'm worried about my exams, all I need to know is how you nearly flunked the last time (NOT). Its also true that we cant learn from other peoples experiences. Life is going to kick our rears in ways one or another.

The reason why I came back, is because being here, all by myself in a place lacking civilization, I was beginning to forget who I am. I dont want to get used to that and neither do I want to overdo myself and be a dramaqueen (which I am in any case! :P). All of us need reality I guess, and I'm searching for mine, in an insane world with confunded people much like myself. Through this self discovery, say hello to "Release Therapy".

Peace be done!