Feline Affair

Two of the four kittens are gone =(
I feel like a scrambled egg right now. True they were noisy and pooped all over the place. But for some reason, it feels so empty without them. Even the mommy cat was looking for the two kittens. My aunt went over to some person she knew and gave the kittens to her because that woman promised somebody needed them...

But honestly, people who hurt kittens are going to hell -__-"
Me, my heart broken self and the two remaining kittens are sitting here in this dinghy room and I'm pretty sure I'm screwed in the head.

Much to some peoples dismay, I dont like being jobless. Sure, I procrastinate a lot. And I pride myself in being a procrastinative-last-minute person. Besides, at the given moment, I'm jailed in the house. I mean, with parents like mine, who question the "goodness" of my "friends", their logical explanation for me not having a life is because I have to be safe. Look at me!, I'm nearly 19, with hardly any social life at the moment, with a grueling set of predecessors who want me to be "lady-like" (I'll get to this later) and whose future looks like a very huge, twisted question mark.


At the moment, my individuality and my kitten-love-emotions are severely hurt. I think I need some ice-cream to wear out all this depression...


I miss the kittens!! T_T

Sun Of A Gun

"Dont compare your answers!" the teachers would shout out when they gave out the answer sheets. I wonder why they said that. After continual attempts of declaring their impartiality in evaluating our papers, its odd that they tell us not to compare our answer sheets. I guess this is where competition and the historic legacy of ass-kissing starts.

I've suddenly begun to discover that my life is so acidic. If I had known better as a kid who was asked not to compare, I would have kissed ass all the way to fame. Too bad I have too much self-respect to do that. Crazy how comparison can fall into a family. I've officially lost the meaning of relationships. I didn't know "love" toward me was weighed in comparison to somebody else. I'm not saying I'm too awesome and god-sent to be dissed (maybe I am, a little bit =P). It doesn't feel nice being looked at like some worthless piece of  trash. Is that all that a family has to offer? To be compared and told what I shouldn't deserve. I'm subconsciously detached to everything now. Nothing matters..well, nothing matters to them does it?.

I've lost faith in myself. Everything is a challenge. Its a strife everyday and I dont see an end to any of it.
Maybe I need to be a rebel?, because I sure as hell don't see a way out. Especially when I'm blamed as a downfall to everything.

Its Weird?

Some people are born and destined for something. While, some others look over to the other side and wonder whether they could deserve what the next person has. I guess I'm not destined to be a part of a clique. Its remarkably strange as to how I can be a part of a huge group and still not want to personally include my head in their conversation.

To my utter dismay, I guess people like me are the ones branded "Emo"?.
Maybe in that case, Sheldon Cooper is the BIGGEST Emo there is. He could be our king you know. Maybe I'm too evolved for socializing like that. I personally find it so annoying that some of these people hang around with you because they either feel sorry for you or because they need a ride home, both of which suck.

Oh well, if somebody did pay attention to this sick kind of self decision of people and who they associate with, kudos to your senses. I'm pretty sick of living in such a stereotypical society anyway. I dont want to have to shed blood, sweat and tears just so that I'm not "looked down upon". Sure, it sounds rash, inconclusive and to a large extent rebel-like. But I'm just a part of those thousands like me, stuck in sticky situations with stupid "friends" who are pretentious little twits and with a home so much farther away than their houses.