Saturday, July 2

Sun Of A Gun

"Dont compare your answers!" the teachers would shout out when they gave out the answer sheets. I wonder why they said that. After continual attempts of declaring their impartiality in evaluating our papers, its odd that they tell us not to compare our answer sheets. I guess this is where competition and the historic legacy of ass-kissing starts.

I've suddenly begun to discover that my life is so acidic. If I had known better as a kid who was asked not to compare, I would have kissed ass all the way to fame. Too bad I have too much self-respect to do that. Crazy how comparison can fall into a family. I've officially lost the meaning of relationships. I didn't know "love" toward me was weighed in comparison to somebody else. I'm not saying I'm too awesome and god-sent to be dissed (maybe I am, a little bit =P). It doesn't feel nice being looked at like some worthless piece of  trash. Is that all that a family has to offer? To be compared and told what I shouldn't deserve. I'm subconsciously detached to everything now. Nothing matters..well, nothing matters to them does it?.

I've lost faith in myself. Everything is a challenge. Its a strife everyday and I dont see an end to any of it.
Maybe I need to be a rebel?, because I sure as hell don't see a way out. Especially when I'm blamed as a downfall to everything.





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